If love existed, we wouldn't be so soft & easy to ruin.
acquaintances
jillsdland
snackpackman
enjoithedark
candylandman
dieg-man
jetblacklife
fatcrab
chibi-sam
slacker2
Rainsong88
ghostchant
ta1nt3dl0v3
anne-wilson
pawprint89
swimfaster89
xneonblackx
corneredsoul
elauhoff
metaphoria
jaketherake
thatcat
colorsenemy
No one listens to fortune cookies..except maybe me. Why? I have a perfectly valid reason. Last New Year's Eve, as tradition was followed, my fortune cookie said something along the lines of "You will find a long lost love." Stupidly, I threw that bit of advice into the trash. Now a whole year later I'm wishing I had kept it. Rarely do our lives follow the advice of the fortune cookie philosophers, but when it does we act surprised. With such vague predictions, anything could happen.
Flashback to New Year's Day 2003: Awoke at Jillian's house with fresh thoughts of the previous night and renewed contact with a kid I knew from Kindergarden. I had no idea what to think as I had definitely felt attracted to him without even meeting him. When I returned to my house that day, I remembered his screen name and decided to talk to him, quite tentatively at first. As cliche as it may seem, it felt like I had known him for a while.
Return to present time, 2004: Spent last night at Jillian's until 12:30 AM. Still had thoughts of the guy I knew from Kindergarden, only this time he had his arms around me. So here I am, a year later and in almost the same situation. Creepy how the world works sometimes.
The past year has brought me so much that I am definitely thankful for. With that, it has brought me times of anguish and unhappiness. Life has been full of important lessons, especially recently. The passing year was the best year of my life so far. The year when everything fell into place--schoolwork, family, sports, friends, significant others all were perfectly intertwined. I was a happy kid. I had a great life and I knew it. Nothing was more perfect in life than last year, especially at the beginning.
Reflecting on that, I wish I could go back with the recent events. As I mature I realize more and more that life's not about that. A new year means that it's time to move on. A time to grow and change the imperfections. A time to decide what I can do to regain that sense of utopia. Last year it all seemed so easy. Everything put itself together and I cruised along. This year is begging to be different. I'm having to work harder and harder every passing day to put on the same outlook to life. Everything, instead of falling into place, is falling apart. I'm having a hard time being truly happy which was never a problem last year. I can't understand this..I'm in almost the same place as a year ago. Sure, I've lost a good friend to Boston, been having some problems with my mom and been doubting a lot of things but essentially not a whole lot has changed. My mind says that everything's changed and I'm just refusing to listen to it. I'm hoping that I don't have to make the important decisions to make this year be better than the last. Whatever happened to fate? I used to believe that everything that happened was supposed to be, but now I'm not so sure..
"And I'm not so sure, If I'm sure of anything anymore.."--TAKING BACK SUNDAY